written by Kudakwashe Nyakudya
One reality of surviving Domestic Violence & Abuse (DVA) is how life crashes due to the consequences of the predicament. For many of us, beginning a new life after fleeing from abusive spouses, implies a beginning of picking up the pieces remaining in life, at that point. Rebuilding and restoration, after the devastation by DVA, will therefore require you to re-order your life, as you reconstruct your life piece by piece. From my experience, I observed that the pieces will not only be broken pieces but fractured broken pieces.
The re-ordering would examine the extent of how areas of your life have been devastated, and the goals you will need to achieve for you to achieve total rebuilding and restoration, in each area. It will be paramount for you to write down all this in a life plan. Remember, you cannot achieve what you cannot envision. Writing down your life plan is one way of recording your vision as well as your map to help you make your vision a reality.
Because your past is not your destiny, you will need to envision your future without being bound by your past, or your current position. However understanding what happened in your past and the effects of DVA that resulted in your life crash, will help you understand what you will need to get to your destination.
Re-ordering your life is not only about understanding and planning your life journey and what you need on it. It is also about the discipline you will need to apply for you to reach your destination. In fact much of the re-ordering sits on this necessity. Lack of discipline is a major stumbling block, that does not only affect the results of what you have set out to do, but who you become many years after you start attempting to re-order your life.
Acquiring discipline will also motivate you to instate and maintain new principles and standards for your new life chapter. Based on discipline, principles and standards are not only about staying on course, but on completing your course – completing it as a winner of your own destiny.
You can start to re-order your life right where you are. It begins with making a decision to intentionally put order to your life. The best mark to ultimately target, is recognising who you envision to become. If you have not yet reached your destination, your life is inconsistent to that vision. Re-ordering your life, therefore, takes you on a disciplined journey to make the reality of your life consistent with your own vision for your own life, regardless of the life crash as a result of DVA.
© Kudakwashe Nyakudya 2013. All Rights Reserved.