written by Kudakwashe Nyakudya
Each area of life has an impact on the others. Hence when one area, like emotional health, is compromised, every other area suffers because of that. In Domestic Violence & Abuse (DVA) however, it is normal for more than one area to be devastated at any given time. In my own personal experience, every area of my life was completely devastated by the end of the 10 year ordeal, including my ability to earn an income.
This simply shows that such devastation is compounded, so are the consequences. The reality though is that for such devastation to be defeated, a greater restorative impact is required. Some areas of life will take much longer, more effort, and much more planning for them to be completely restored, as compared to others. Serious “intentional” attention must therefore be given for complete restoration to occur, and sustained in the long term.
The first aspect to take seriously is, understanding how DVA devastated each area of your life, and who you have become. You can then form a picture of the extent your life has been wrecked because of your experience. Observe that certain virtues would still be in good shape, for example, your potential, strengths, and courage. Take a note of these, as they would become the bedrock of your complete restoration. Devastation from DVA does not take away your potential for your future.
The next part you will need to take seriously is, understanding where you desire your life to be, and who you desire to become. You can then also form a picture of your desired future. You will need to search yourself and find what your dreams and ambitions were before you encountered your DVA experience. You may even have to consult trustworthy family and friends, for your memory to be re-jogged. DVA can overshadow your vision, hopes and dreams, so you will need all the help you need to get your life back, in your mind before you begin the journey of living it.
Understanding where DVA has taken you, and where you desire to go, will help you draw up a map that you will guide you along your journey to complete restoration. Each area of life will need to be accommodated in your map as neglecting it will slow down or stop the healing and restoration of the others. Remember that each area is connected to all the others – your life does not have compartments that stand alone – it is one whole that forms one complete individual. Complete restoration will therefore “intentionally” focus on carefully defeating devastation in every area, until victory totally comes.
© Kudakwashe Nyakudya 2013. All Rights Reserved.