Kudakwashe’s Story

Kudakwashe Nyakudya On BBC News – More on this story …

Her friends describe her as a woman of great compassion who desires to see people set free from situations or relationships where there has been or is a violation of human dignity and freedom. She believes that empowered women are strategic, strong and hard working leaders, and highly rejoices when she sees them excel to their full potential.

Based in the Midlands UK, Kudakwashe Nyakudya birthed Kahrmel Wellness in 2010 on the backbone of her own experience of surviving of 10 years of Domestic Violence & Abuse (DVA). She emphasises that her focus is on the restoration and rebuilding of survivors’ lives after permanently leaving their abusers, thereby experience fullness of life.

She also focuses on educating and empowering faith communities to apply the best approaches when tackling DVA cases that occurs in their environment. Her own story is full of deep inspiration of how a woman, once a victim of violence and oppression, defiantly became a champion of living in freedom and success, and mentoring communities on how to become fortresses of refuge and practical resources for adult and child survivors.

Kudakwashe’s ordeal ended in 2008, but her perpetrator who was a Christian man, relentlessly strived to devastate her life for the years that followed – even through initiating court proceedings against Kudakwashe that strenuously lasted for more than 6 years. He had been supported by church leaders and “Christian” friends and relatives in his violence and abuse through religions guises, regardless of how much Kudakwashe and her two children from the marriage suffered gravely. Their plight was brushed under the carpet.

Her survival, was therefore not facilitated by the Christian community she belonged to then, but eventually by the police and domestic violence teams, that were heavily condemned by the group of Christians. Kudakwashe often shares of how the police became the “Good Samaritans” for her, while those expected to redeem her, the “Priests” and “Levites”, passed by strengthening the arms of the brutal “robber”. She had experienced physical and sexual violence and abuse, financial, psychological and spiritual abuse.

Kudakwashe on Channel 5 News – More on this story …

Kudakwashe’s experience was also exacerbated by the violated traditional and cultural norms in the community she lived under. She became a victim at home, as well as in her Christian and cultural communities. In addition, her perpetrator all the more intensified his violence and abuse, not only against Kudakwashe, but the children as well.

After fleeing from abuse, church leaders and the other Christian relatives and friends heavily pressurised Kudakwashe to reconcile with her abusive ex-husband, stating that her escape was “ungodly”. They vehemently asserted that it was wrong for a Christian woman to leave her husband on grounds of DVA, and compelled her to be responsible for keeping the marriage together – but they did not challenge the perpetrator!

Kudakwashe quietly chose not to return to the abusive marriage, which resulted in her being ostracised from her cultural and Christian communities. Many of those she used to know as relatives and friends also deserted her, and aligned themselves with the perpetrator. It took courage, boldness and strength for Kudakwashe to be able to stand by her decision to start a new life free from fear, violence and abuse.

Having fled from her perpetrator empty handed, Kudakwashe’s journey to restoration, together with her children, included a stay in a women’s refuge for almost 6 months. There she met a vast number of women, many from diverse faiths. These too were affected by DVA in the same manner Kudakwashe had experienced. Since then she continually came across many more women from multi-faiths affected by this pandemic, some even harmed by abusive faith leaders.

Finding the huge void in faith communities in the address of DVA, propelled Kudakwashe to develop a solution. Out of a number of outcomes, in 2010 she designed the model for Tackling Domestic Violence In Faith Communities, which Kahrmel Wellness has been deploying across the UK.

Kudakwashe now asserts that faith leaders must be equipped to act in an appropriate response with knowledge and skill, and the efficiency to do so in a way that  protects the welfare of adult and child victims. This instead of harboring perpetrators – who in most cases do not change their behaviours but rather modify their abusive nature.

She is highly optimistic that incidences of DVA will reduce in faith communities with openness, education and commitment to change. This can be achieved by a concerted effort with similarly dedicated individuals and organisations.

Kudakwashe teaching on DVA at a church

Kudakwshe is a sought after dynamic speaker whose messages invigorate authentic inspiration. She is a regular TV and radio guest and speaks at conferences, religious or cultural gatherings, where many testify of the indelible impact of her words. Kudakwashe is also recognised as an expert witness for legal proceedings related to DVA.  She is a great mentor who imparts passionate integrity and purposefulness.

Have you survived DVA? Do you desire to experience the fullness of your own life? Do you need key principles to help you take control of your own life and become the master of your destiny? Kudakwashe welcomes you to contact her to begin your journey to revival, replenishment and all round success!

© Kahrmel Wellness Community Interest Company 2017. All Rights Reserved.

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